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The importance of writing down your thoughts and feelings

Recording your trauma enables you to step back from your pain so you can be more objective. It can be like an out-of-body experience that makes it possible for you to view the situation more objectively—to see the facts as they are without being tainted by your reactions. Your writing need take only a few…

3 questions that will help you find the source(s) of your distress

It’s important to clarify and recognize the cause(s) of your upset. Sometimes the hurtful comments and deeds of others are hard to deal with, especially if you receive several destructive “broadsides” in a row. Oftentimes, the anguish of an event is confusing, and it’s hard to really understand the reasons for some of the subtle…

If you’re in a mental health crisis, talk to someone ASAP

If you are in a mental health crisis, it’s important to talk to someone as soon as possible. If you are able, call a friend or someone else to tell them you are struggling. The key is to talk with someone as soon as possible about what’s going on with you. You can do this…

You Can Climb out of the Pit and Start Over

How I ache for you, dear friend. Very sorry it’s been such an awful time. Of course, in our worst moments, we (me and thee and tons of others)) revert to past horrific scenes and feel our life is pre-programmed for failure. When we are in this snit, we get mad and throw ourselves as…

Just Fight One More Round!

It happened 120 years ago. On September 7, 1892, James J. Corbett won the first heavyweight championship prize-fight in which the contestants used boxing gloves rather than their bare fists. Corbett won the match against John L. Sullivan with a knockout in the twenty-first round. That’s right, the 21st round! (Amazingly, three years earlier Corbett…

I Will Come Through This Bitter or Better

How unfair, how cruel . . . of God to take me through this long, drawn-out ordeal. It’s been a tormenting endurance for months, years. I feel trapped in a lose-lose deal. I’ve read the Bible, over and over, for answers and guidance. I and others have prayed and prayed for this whole messy, hurtful…

Re-opened Old Wounds Hurt Worse Than The Original Ones

Recently, two friends made some negative comments and did some seemingly benign things that triggered painful memories for me. Almost an exact repeat of an incident that happened in sixteen years ago. Same hurtful words, facial expression, and gestures. My reaction to this re-run of a similar happening more than a decade ago? It was…


One of the primary teachings of Alcoholics Anonymous relates to acceptance. Consider this excerpt from the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous: Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find…


The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous talks about the effects resentment has on alcoholics, but it could just as easily be talking about anyone simmering with anger. It teaches: The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. Resentment is the number one offender. It disturbs more alcoholics than anything else.…


The possibility of a suicide of a loved one is something we’d like to ignore or forget. Some of us deny it. Others can’t say the word. It’s frightening to contemplate. We think it can’t happen to us. It can. Our 23 year old son, Sammy, killed himself in 1982. He was diagnosed with a…


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