3 questions that will help you find the source(s) of your distress

It’s important to clarify and recognize the cause(s) of your upset. Sometimes the hurtful comments and deeds of others are hard to deal with, especially if you receive several destructive “broadsides” in a row.

Oftentimes, the anguish of an event is confusing, and it’s hard to really understand the reasons for some of the subtle behaviors of others. People’s intentions are often clear. But, on other occasions, their words or actions are bewildering. Sometimes people are kind and affirming. At other times, they can be cruel or spiteful.

Frequently, hurtful statements and activities by others come across as nice and flowery and catch us off-guard by their outward upbeat nature. This is why it’s essential to cut through external words and actions to discern true motives of others—so you can uncover the cause of your pain.

Ask yourself these three essential questions:

  1. Is my upset due to something medical, like side effects from my prescription medications?
  2. Is my misery resulting from abusing alcohol or drugs?
  3. Is my turmoil being caused by a toxic or potentially toxic person, situation, or place?

Action Step: Pinpoint the cause(s) of your inner turmoil and ask what specific measures you can take to avoid, endure, or heal from the root of your turbulence.

This is an excerpt from my book, 9 Critical Steps to Take in a Mental Health Crisis. To find out more, please click here.


Hi, I'm Jim. I've been through the emotional wringer. I've been a successful pastor and leader and a loving father, but I've also been suicidally depressed. I'll teach you the techniques I used to heal myself, and give you the tools to reclaim your life and move forward!

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